Embracing Inner Strength: Self-Care Mastery for Women on the Frontlines

Do you ever feel like you're running on empty, giving your all to your demanding job in public safety or human services, only to find your own well-being on the backburner? We're joined by Erica Satiha, a trauma and abuse coach, to explore revolutionary self-care techniques tailored for women who face traumatic situations daily. Erika Sardinah illuminates the path to emotional, mental, and physical stability, emphasizing that self-care extends far beyond the occasional spa day—it's about nurturing a foundation of self-love that amplifies our presence and effectiveness in high-stress roles without depleting ourselves.

Imagine starting and ending your day enveloped in a practice that grounds you, gives you clarity, and restores your energy. This episode unpacks the transformative power of morning and evening journaling, meditation, and the serenity of silence to set positive intentions and express gratitude, acting as bookends to your hectic schedule. I share how these mindful rituals, along with positive triggers and quick visualization techniques, can facilitate a significant shift in your daily experience and help you navigate your roles with ease.

Wrapping up with a treasure trove of practical self-care tips, we delve into the art of thriving from the inside out. Learn how to harness the protective energy of visualization, savor the restorative nature of short breaks, and utilize tapping meditation for stress relief. Moreover, we discuss the art of staying curious and adaptable in structured environments like public safety, highlighting how these qualities can foster both personal and professional growth. Erica's wisdom and gentle guidance serve as a powerful reminder of the profound importance of prioritizing self-care amid the whirlwind of life's challenges.

Email: publicsafetybywomen@gmail.com
Website: https://womeninpublicsafety.com
Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/@womeninpublicsafety

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:13

Good morning or good afternoon or wherever you may be. This is Harriet Westmoreland. This is a special edition for Women in Public Safety podcast. This is the podcast where we discuss women challenges of human services, the challenges that we, as women workers who work on the front lines with human services, social work, law enforcement, corrections, anything that has to do with the public we, as women, are working right there on the front lines. So I want to welcome you. This is, like I said, this is a special edition.

Speaker 1: 0:45

I know I usually do my recording on Saturday, but I wanted to do a live event because I have a very special guest. She's been a guest on one of my other podcasts, but I wanted to have her to come back and specifically talk about self-care for women who work in public safety and human services type profession. So I wanted to welcome Ms Erica Satiha and she is a trauma and abuse coach. She has her own website and a Facebook group, which I will definitely make sure you have that information for you at the end of the show. But this is a live broadcast. If you have questions or comments, please hit in the chat. We will highlight your comments or your questions and I'm sure Erica will be more than happy to chat with you. So again, erica, welcome. I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule. I know it's a different time zone, but I appreciate you all the same, so welcome.

Speaker 2: 1:57

Of course, of course. Thank you so much for having me. I love chatting with you and I was very excited to talk to this particular group of people, like women, who are basically helping other people in traumatic situations and very stressful situations as well, so I'm like more than happy to be here Seriously.

Speaker 1: 2:33

Thank you, as I mentioned this before and I had it in one of my episodes about self-care, but I wanted to talk with someone who actually is an expert of doing self-care and so, Erica, kind of just give us a background of working with the populations that you work with as a abuse, a trauma, and abuse self well, abuse coach.

Speaker 2: 2:49

I'm sorry about that. I was going to say self abuse.

Speaker 1: 2:51

I always say that Don't do it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.

Speaker 2: 2:58

Don't worry, don't worry. So basically what I do is I am an empowerment coach for survivors of trauma and abuse, so anyone who has been through traumatic situations or abusive situation, being from childhood or in your adult life Sometimes I work with people who have been through abuse in domestic violence situation and, um, so what happens when you go through abuse or through a traumatic situation is that you learn that your, your needs are not supposed to be met right. And what happens, um, usually in session, why people come to me, is because they are looking for a way of like, actually love themselves and make self-love and self-care stick right, and, um, that's one part of my job. And then there's also the fact that we, as women, we don't do self-care very well. Right, we have this question of let's take care of other people first, let's make sure that everybody is okay first, and then we come last.

Speaker 2: 4:06

And for this particular public that we're talking here today, we're talking about people who probably in their personal lives, they're not applying too much self-care and, at the same time, on top of that, family kids self-care and, at the same time, on top of that, family kids, uh, whatever they have going on on top of that they are taking care of other people, right? So the room for self-care. Sometimes it feels like there is no space, and what I would like to do here and I think you too is to help people create that space for self-care right and not only self-care sometimes, that space for self-care right and not only self-care. Sometimes people think about self-care it's like, oh, going to the spa or whatever. So we're talking about self-care, of you giving yourself what is it that you need for you to be emotionally, mentally and physically stable? Of course, go to the spa, do your thing, go to the hairdresser. I love that, but we need to go a little bit deeper, and that's the part where I really like to work on.

Speaker 1: 5:09

So, with that being said, for those of us who may deal with different difficult situations on our jobs every day, particularly victims of crime, particularly domestic violent victims and you know they're going through their traumatic experience for those who are in those type of situations, we may take on that trauma that we're experiencing or can relate to it on a personal note. So how do we take care of ourselves while taking care of the people that we serve in the community?

Speaker 2: 6:01

Yeah, I believe it's more a matter of what you do when you are not on the job that is going to actually help you while you are on the job. Of course, there are certain things you can do on the job to help you, and we can go there, but the thing is you need to create a foundation of self-love and care for yourself first. So when you go out there and you go at your and to do your job, you are. You are not already full of your own struggles and and left and and lack of self-care and love, right, right. So the thing is we need to, instead of like it is first of all.

Speaker 2: 6:46

There are so many things about this topic getting excited, but, like, first of all, we need to understand that the fact that you are, with listening, witnessing trauma you are also going through trauma. Right, it is traumatizing to see violence on tv. Right, it is traumatizing to witness violence. It is traumatizing to be in an environment where you have to manage and deal and of yourself first, as an individual and outside of your work. So when you go to work in these spaces, you are whole and you can, you are able to be present without giving away all your energy, or giving away the little that you have because you didn't pour enough into yourself.

Speaker 1: 7:47

Right.

Speaker 2: 7:48

I guess that's the answer yes.

Speaker 1: 7:50

So, um, I know you had mentioned some several um ideas or suggestions. What do you? What techniques um um should we do, or any kind of like meditation or something that we can do on a daily before we you know, yeah, get our mind right before we go to work completely.

Speaker 2: 8:11

Let's imagine that you are at home and you are cozy, right, heat is on, you're feeling really cozy. But then outside you go and it's freaking cold, right? So what you want to do is to, basically, before you leave home, you put a coat on. You better put those socks on, right? So before you go to the cold, which is which is your job you don't want to go like summertime and right everything, right. So that's kind of the analogy that we're looking into when we go into doing this work before, and that's the best way I have to explain why we need to do the job, this work, before.

Speaker 2: 8:58

So there are several things that you can do in the morning. Um, I would advise you to create a morning routine. I I think some people are not going to like this, but I think the morning routine is crucial crucial for you to self-regulate and to function in this world. Especially if you have such a difficult job and you are dealing with so many emotions. You want to ground yourself first before you step outside of your house. So I would say, create a morning routine that would help you stay grounded throughout the day. So what is it that you can do during the morning routine. First of all, just understand that you don't need to have a long morning routine. Wake up two hours early. Not everybody has that time, not everybody has that lifestyle.

Speaker 1: 9:49

Right.

Speaker 2: 9:49

Right.

Speaker 2: 9:50

So understand what is it that you can do? Or at what time can you wake up? Maybe before the kids wake up, and all that, which is something that happens with my clients. They're like, oh my God, like at 6 am I already have to be up with the kids. How about give yourself half an hour? Give yourself half an hour to sit down, journal a little bit, connect with yourself, set the intentions for the day and think about what is it that you want to give to the world today. How do you want to show up? Are there certain situations that usually take you completely off the rails or off track that you want to avoid today? And I would say journal about it. And I would say also meditate, right, connect to yourself and make sure you access to that center in the morning before you do anything else. So I would say journaling, meditation, sitting in silence, listening to yourself.

Speaker 2: 11:00

So so many of us don't do this, so many of us don't think about it. Like in sitting in silence with yourself is already enough, because then you don't go and rush and all of a sudden, it's such, it is such a difference. Right, you're at home kids or not, kids, whatever getting ready, and all of a sudden it's an emergency situation. It's the contrast and what it does to your body. It's, it's crazy. And then, after you have like a set morning routine, don't give up on your morning routine too soon. Uh, try to have at least 21 days with the routine. See it making a difference in your life, because you are trying to contrast years and years and years of behavior. So it's not just because maybe it happened Like sometimes it happens. I'm trying to transform something within me and I meditate, something clicks and I'm like, oh, I don't want to do that anymore, and it changes. But usually it's going to take some time. So you need to be a little patient with you, with yourself. And the other thing to avoid the clash, the clash between worlds, meaning you're at home. All of a sudden this is an emergency situation.

Speaker 2: 12:12

What I would say is create some sort of a ritual to help you transition from. Ok, this is Erica, the partner now chilling at home. I am going to put my head on and start working. Maybe visualize, or there there this thing called positive triggers, where you can set triggers to help you with certain situations. For example, if you want to work out, just lay your clothes. Over there You're working out clothes, so you get up and see your clothes. So I would say, find something. For example, the moment my feet touch the office, I'm going through the door, I am putting my head on and that kind of helps you transition into situation and you can do this throughout the day just to let go of one situation and get into another situation, because sometimes on the job it doesn't stop. You didn't even process whatever happened like five minutes ago, and you're already on the. So have that moment to be like, take a breather, create your own positive trigger and then move on to the next thing.

Speaker 1: 13:27

Those are great suggestions and especially I'm listening to you. Like first thing in the morning I happen to work first shift and I was just thinking and it will be a challenge, you're right, if I can get up just 30 minutes earlier, just enough just to kind of stay in silence or just take cause. I do have a journal and just write something, write something positive, you know, to get my mind right before I even go into, you know, into work, because it does that will definitely help. And so the opposite, let's just turn it around. Where you're getting off work and you're transitioning from the day and you dealt with all whatever that was, you know the drama dealing with, you know all types of incidents and things that are on your job.

Speaker 1: 14:20

How can you decompress?

Speaker 2: 14:23

Yeah, you need to process the day. I would say process the day. Okay, go through how it went, what went, well, if it's very stressful, just sometimes we don't see any positives. And I remember there was a time where I was working as a volunteer at this. This neighborhood was kind of like a ghetto and I was trying to help kids and their moms were either prostitutes or domestic violence. And I was working at this school and I was like my work doesn't mean anything because, like they go home. And sometimes you just cannot disconnect because it's just like you go home and you're like, oh, I'm going to my comfy home and it's chaos over there.

Speaker 2: 15:08

So I would say process, go through the things that went well throughout the day. Oh, listen, um, raquel brought, brought me a coffee today. That was really nice. Uh, well, at least, um, that didn't happen today.

Speaker 2: 15:23

I just think about things and and process what happened, but more through a positive lens, and try to not focus so much on everything that went badly, because that's what we do, right. We're like what could we do, right? Right, if you're in this job like you want to help people, you want people and you're thinking like I should have done that I should have taken care of these papers. I should have said that. So it is. If you're driving home imagine you're driving home maybe you can think about that. Yeah, just think about what went well today. What is it that you have to be grateful for? I think it's a beautiful way of you closing the work day and then allow yourself to get into me mode again, getting to.

Speaker 2: 16:20

Okay, I was pouring myself out all day. Let me pour myself. Uh, back to myself a little bit. You know, uh, there is some meditations and some exercises that you can make or some visualizations. They can be really quick, right, especially if you are already used to meditate, which is you just focus on getting your energy back to your body. Where did you leave your energy around? There was a stressful situation just like just lost my energy over there. Just reclaim it, just claim it back. Just say all my energies are coming back right now from everything and everybody where I dropped my energy. You can have like a little affirmation um, yeah, sounds good.

Speaker 1: 17:05

Sounds good. When did? When's the best time? I guess maybe this shouldn't be a set time, but is it beneficial? Or as far as preference, as far as journaling, which is more beneficial to journal in the mornings or journal after the end of the day?

Speaker 2: 17:36

after the end of the day, or I would say both. I will say both okay, and do it for five minutes. I literally have a journal where I journal for five minutes and let me grab it and it's basically you start the day by saying how you want to feel, what are the intentions for the day. You pick up an affirmation and trying to look for the journal and say everything right, and that's what you do, what you're grateful for and what can you do to have a better day. This is like five minutes. It takes you nothing and then, at the end of the day, write about your highlights, your milestones, the best part of the day, the challenges or the lessons that you learned throughout the day and how you're feeling right now.

Speaker 2: 18:23

Now that you go to bed, I feel in the morning you can get yourself up, set yourself up to success right, this is how I want my day to go. And in the evening you get to process what happened and you get to say, okay, this was good, I've learned this lesson and I'm letting it go. Like, seriously, this is five minutes. I don't know if people can see it, but see, this is nothing. Oh, yes, yeah, evening, right, okay, it's nothing.

Speaker 1: 18:50

okay, that that's a great idea, because you're you're starting your day of your expectation and your hopes and then, as you go through the day, at the end of the day, you, you know, reflect and look back at what you know happened and what didn't, what could have happened, or you know how you feel about it and you know, so you know, during both days, both times of the day. I think that's a wonderful way of taking care.

Speaker 2: 19:19

Yeah, and can you imagine, a month from now, the information that you're going to have about yourself, how you felt, the situations, the challenges, the lessons, what you've learned, the gratitude over and over how it's going to affect your mood on a day-to-day basis, but then also tracking patterns which help us kind of make the changes that we need to make?

Speaker 1: 19:41

That's true. That's true, I never thought about that. Yeah, that's true, because you can track your look at. You know if you're thinking or you know stressing about the same things every day. There's a pattern there and so we want to look back and look at well, what can I do to change that type of mindset or whatever. So that's a great idea. So let's talk about how to show empathy towards our community, our community, who we serve by protecting our energy.

Speaker 2: 20:15

I know that was one of the things of you know you.

Speaker 1: 20:18

Just you know how we, you know we give and give and give until we're depleted, um, but there's a balance there of protecting ourselves and, and you know, having everybody deplete our energy while on the job.

Speaker 2: 20:37

Exactly.

Speaker 2: 20:39

I would say a lot of. I don't think people in your group lack empathy. I would say you are probably at the extreme of empathy. You probably have too much, too much empathy going on, and that you do it to your own detriment. So I'm gonna lead from there um, think about boundaries that you can have on the job. We don't think about it too often. We say this is the job, this is how you do it, I'm a good person. Be careful with the thing about being a good person, person, because having boundaries is not being a bad person, it's just having boundaries right for you to protect yourself and from protecting others, from robbing you of your peace, your well-being and all that. So I'd say yes, set, set boundaries. Have boundaries in place. Have, um, figure out ways of you protecting yourself.

Speaker 2: 21:46

I, I love imagining myself in a bubble just a bubble of love it's. It sounds very stupid and very little and very like what's that going to be? But when you have that image of you in a bubble, just say it's a bubble of love, right, where love can come in. Right, but you are still protected, and see how that feels in your body. It's not a protective thing where nothing comes in and this is it. But just imagine yourself in a bubble of love, where you have a part, where you get to receive and you get to give and replenish yourself throughout the day.

Speaker 2: 22:31

Meaning breaks If all you have is one minute, listen, I used to work as a primary and infant school teacher. Right, breaks are not very famous, right, education school system, right? So, listen, I would go to the bathroom and breathe for a minute. It is okay, go ahead and breathe for a minute, let the thing out. Um, there is this practice that I love, which is tapping meditation, where you tap in different points of your face and your body. Right this, take notes of it. Tapping meditation it's wonderful to release, maybe, if you want to do it at the end of the day, uh, but obviously we, we cannot go around like this right, are you okay?

Speaker 1: 23:26

do you need some help?

Speaker 2: 23:28

so if you need a break, you can just like tap through your fingers and just allow some. See how simple that is and how crazy soothing it is.

Speaker 1: 23:41

Yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:44

So just to just simple things, to help you throughout today, to fill up your cup a little bit. Even if you're not filling your cup to the max, you can fill it up in the at the beginning of throughout the day. But think about it you already fill up, filled up your cup in the morning, so you're stronger than usual, so you're more, but you're also protected. You think about your little bubble of love, right? And when you have the time it doesn't matter if it's 30 seconds breathe in and out, in and out, in and out. And I am there for people, but I'm not allowing it to just take over me. And at the end of the day, what went well? I do my journaling, I do my journaling, I take my winter coat, I'm at home and it's a completely different reality than just being on the go all the time, never stopping, never replenishing. This is like what 45 minutes of your day, all the tips that we spoke about, but what a huge difference it can make Absolutely, absolutely, wow.

Speaker 1: 24:49

You given some A lot of good tips, so talk about you and your program and if people want to reach out to you as a coach, those are one of the resources that I Suggest. If you need to talk to somebody or you need somebody to help you with Self-care, someone like Erica Would be a great resource. Talk to somebody. Or you need somebody to help you with you know self-care um, someone like erica would be a great resource. So talk about what you offer.

Speaker 2: 25:14

Thank you, thank you. You are so right, and one of the things we have in common as black women, people who have been through trauma, people who are helping other people and today I wrote a post about this I think that, like my mission in life is to learn how to use all that all the help that I give to on me.

Speaker 2: 25:35

Right, you're helping everybody. Help yourself, get somebody to help you get centered. Get somebody to help you. Use those techniques that we spoke about, either me or something different that you need. In case what I said resonates with you, I have a one-on-one coaching program. It's called Next Level Thriving. It's all about helping you thrive from the inside out, taking care of yourself so you can thrive on the outside. I guess it's what we spoke about today. So ways of you thriving at your work as a partner, whatever you want to achieve in life, but feeling good on the inside, connecting with yourself.

Speaker 2: 26:18

So if you are interested, you can simply send me a DM. Just send me a DM with the world clarity. Say that you watched me on this live and then we can talk about it. I always, always, always offer a free clarity session because we get to. We have to know each other. I need to know your situation. I need to give you a few tips, see how you respond. So if it aligns, then we can work together. But know that you're going to have that free clarity call and, yeah, if it aligns, I'd love to help you.

Speaker 1: 26:54

And I put the in the ticker. I hope that's the correct website that people can oh oh, my God, I don't know.

Speaker 2: 27:01

I have to change that website. Oh, ok, r? E before the life is an e, but that's okay. People can find me everywhere by erica sardina. My social medias are erica's healing space everywhere. So, okay, I'm an easy person to find healing space and that's on facebook uh, erica's healing space. Okay, that's on facebook and on instagram as well. You can find me by that, by the name, everywhere okay, all right.

Speaker 1: 27:36

Any last um thoughts or tips or wishes or blessings that you would like to grace our audience.

Speaker 2: 27:45

I'm trying to look at the notes, but I think we spoke about everything. I would just say that it is very important that you find what works for you and look at this process from a lens of curiosity and not judgment, right, Because we all have crazy busy lives and I'm all about finding what works for you and with the time and the life circumstances that you have. So, yes, take action and please don't be judgmental. Be curious. If you can't apply only two things that we spoke today, you are already changing your life. So just take that into consideration and if you need support, I'm here, harriet is here reach out absolutely absolutely.

Speaker 1: 28:36

And you said the key word do not be judgmental. I mean keep an open mind.

Speaker 1: 28:42

Just have an open mind, because you just never know, I know one of the things about us is working for in public safety. We just kind of have a structured and that's how we were trained to be structured have a structured mindset. But for ourselves we have to have an open mind and just kind of shift things and just be open to receive different perspectives and you never know, that might, you know, make you better as a person and on your job as well as in your personal life. So, erica, I appreciate you as always. Thank you so much and, people, I really suggest that you reach out to her. She is wonderful, you can tell. I just love her soothing voice and she just has so many tips and resources for you. So, thank you so much and you guys, be safe and let's take care of ourselves. Yes, and that's it. Thank you, bye-bye.